The Witness of Marriage


         In the beginning of human history, the natural phenomenon of marriage arose. We are all witnesses to its source, readily seen in nature and perceived through reason. There is a natural ecology to marriage, which when followed to its fullest potential has the power to beckon us to a sanctified purpose and to the highest love. Self-giving and sacrifice are at the heart of the bond of marriage. In proper order, that same ecology can bring health and peace, not only to ourselves, but also to the whole world through enduring love.
         The ability to procreate, two sexes in union creating new life, was the means of successively keeping the human race growing and, eventually, to survive. Sex itself was and is the positive means by which humans participate in the creative act. The mutual giving of one's self, in complementarity, brings forth the most beautiful of all creatures, a new human life, endowed with a soul. Love, being the service by self-giving, is not unfruitful. The true loving union of two who give of themselves fully, between equal and complementary parts, gives birth to life. True love is creative.
         The principal purpose of sex, then, is for the creation of new life. This is obvious from all of nature by any simple scientific observation. We have reduced sex in our western culture, though, simply to a source of pleasure, as though it were a biological necessity to experience physical ecstasy on a regular basis for the survival of each individual. The holy virgins of the Church prove us wrong by their lives of consecration, setting themselves aside for their singular devotion to the Lord, simultaneously giving witness to the sacred purpose of sex and of family. When sex is not open to its inherent purpose of begetting new life, then sex is only a mimicking of its truth, and the parties withhold of their full selves.
         That new life, given to us as a little baby, is the immediate proof of two individuals who gave of themselves, one to the other in love, even if for one brief instant. (Of course, we are perplexed and distraught when a child is the product of abuse against the capability to love, though the child is still proof of a mother's love and her life giving capacity). We expect, as society, for that child to be provided for its safety, protection and provision of food, shelter and love. It has been scientifically proven that infants will die without human interaction, without the regular touch of another human. The nurturing touch of a mother is especially crucial in the healthy development of her children. The beautiful gift of life demands the responsibility of committed love.
         This fruitful union between male and female, then, requires a permanency if it is to fulfill its full end, that is, to beget new life and to nurture it into full growth—socially, physically and spiritually healthy. There is a special responsibility on the part of the parents to lovingly care for those children for as long as needed. The sustainability of the family unity is crucial for the well-being of the children, as well as the parents themselves. There is no doubt that care for a child, and especially multiple children, is the work of two adults, as opposed to one. There is also no doubt that fidelity and consistency is a crucial part of relationship building and social skills for forming healthy children and adults. Unless the father and mother are ravenous, violent and deeply disordered individuals, it is always better to have the biological parents to care for their biological children, whenever possible.
         Thus, the natural origin of marriage as a permanent union between one male and one female arose at the first child's conception. Marriage is a necessity, as a human societal construct, for the good of all children. It is a necessity for the stability of society itself, to properly care for one another and to ensure the proper growth of the human race. The indissolubility of marriage is essential to its function of responsibility, just as the union of sexual complementarity is essential to its function of procreation. The dignity of marriage, then, proceeds from the great responsibility and gift of life.
         Let us not neglect, however, the spiritual component of the sexual act and, therefore, marriage itself. Humans are not reducible to flesh and blood, eggs and seeds or, worse, to reproductive parts or the pleasure derived in their use. Instead, we have emotions, intellects, wills and spirits. The giving of our individual self, with the capacity to beget life in our own image, is one of the greatest vulnerabilities and intimacies of our human existence. Of course, our entire being will be drawn into such an act. To perform this act in any way contrary to the necessary dignity of marriage is to participate fully in the “throw-away” or disposable culture about which Pope Francis so often speaks. We give up part of our spirit, our will, our own dignity whenever we participate in sex that is contrary to the full dignity of marriage, open to the power of life and its responsibilities. In that way, we dispose of our own selves, degrading and destroying ourselves in an effort of self-gratification. True love does not partake in destruction of the human person.
         The fullness of marriage, then, is realized only in the full and faithful mutual self-giving, within the context of the great possibility of its rightful, blessed, life-giving consequences. The whole ecology of the human person demands the dignity of such a relationship, as well as the whole ecology of human society. To violate the bounds of marriage is to harm the individuals involved, to harm children, and to harm society. The state of marriage and the act of self-giving in marriage through sex is sacred.
         For this reason, Christ elevated marriage to a new and sanctified level. As the Catholic Church is witness to it, Christ instituted marriage as a sacrament for all Christians. By making vows to one another, each Christian spouse partakes in the grace of God to fulfill a vocation for the purpose of being a sign in the world and to one another of Christ's own love. “'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' This is a great mystery, and I am applying it to Christ and the church' (Eph. 5:31-32 NRSVCE). The holy matrimony of two Christians, becoming one flesh, is the efficacious sign of Christ being one flesh, one spirit, with his bride, the Church. It is an indissoluble covenant relationship. Through this sacrament, Christ imparts his grace to the spouses and to the family, to the children begotten through such love. The sanctification of the spouses, as well as others, is the main effect of the sacrament of holy matrimony. By it, love abounds more and more.

You Witnesses

         You may be a Christian and reading this now. Perhaps you have witnessed in your own country a degrading of marriage in many ways. Especially in the western world, we have witnessed a breakdown of the rightful purpose of marriage, as well as its natural and spiritual effects. Perhaps you have witnessed a legalization of divorce and remarriage, premarital or extramarital sex being promoted, contraception being used to hinder the natural, life-giving blessings of sex, or homosexuality being promoted or legalized in some way. Perhaps you are wondering what to do now, or perhaps you believe you already know what to do. Some of you are honest, gentle and loving people, knowing that the Lord requires us to “act justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8). Some of you are sorely mistaken in your concept of love, which in reality is the perfect blending of mercy and justice, the two not being opposed.
         Let us not be confused of our own Christian duties: we must love. The greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. The second is to love your neighbor as your self (Mark 12:28-31). In the context of marriage and family, we must first love our families. We must show obedience and patience to our parents; we must submit ourselves to our spouses in long-suffering faithfulness and kindness; we must be merciful and gentle with our children, teaching them and providing for their needs. If we cannot love within our own home, then it means little to love those outside our homes. We must seek the highest good of those in our families at all times, day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute.
         Then, we must love those neighbors not within our families. We do this by humble service to all, first recognizing our own need of God's grace and mercy, so that we may impart it to others. Jesus taught us to love everyone the same. “And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile. Give to everyone who begs from you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you,” he taught (Matt. 5:41-42 NRSVCE). Later, he gave us a new commandment, which requires us to give entirely of ourselves for one another, as Christ gave up his own life for us (John 13:34). We must continually humble ourselves before others, so as to imitate Christ and to to walk in the Spirit. So, the Scriptures tell us, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble” and, also, “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy” (1 Pet. 5:5; Matt. 5:7 NRSVCE).
         If you believe that by condemning someone you live the life of Christ, then you are sorely mistaken. We will only live the life of Christ by seeking the lost, healing the broken-hearted, feeding the hungry, sheltering the poor, caring for the sick and clothing the naked. It is in dying that we are born to eternal life. If we do not carry the death of Jesus in our bodies, then we will never have the life of Jesus in our mortal flesh (2 Cor. 4:10). Therefore, we should look to those who have gone before us in our Catholic faith. We should look to the confessors and martyrs who have loved God above all else and others more than their own lives, giving of themselves until there was nothing left to give. St. Maximilian Kölbe was one of them, giving his life in the place of another in Auschwitz. Pope John Paul II called him a “martyr of charity.” There is no greater love. Like the Great Physician, we should go out to be with those effected by the sickness of sin and death. We must honor everyone more than ourselves. We must go to the outcast, the deserted, the abandoned. We must love all with the unquenchable, infinite and compassionate desire that Christ has for all human souls. Then, and only then, will love win.





O God, I have fallen short of many things, especially your glory.
I have sinned through my own fault, my most grievous fault.
Yet, you have come to save, not to condemn.
You have come to set captives free and to heal the brokenhearted.
I have been such a captive, and you will have nothing less than my freedom.
Grant me, O God, the grace to live the life of love to which you have called us.
Let there be none who escapes your love through me.
Let there be not one soul to whom I am neighbor that does not see your heart,
pierced through for infinite love and oceans of mercy awaiting them.
May your love, which is like the mighty mountains, strengthen our marriages.
May your faithfulness, which extends to the heavens, stretch out to meet our families.
May fathers, mothers and children act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with you.
May your Spirit fill our hearts, pouring out your grace to fulfill our purpose.
Holy, holy, holy is your name.
May you sanctify us in body and soul, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
Amen.

Immaculate one, Mother of the Redeemer, pray for us.

St. Joseph, pray for us.

Sts. Peter and Paul, pray for us.

St. Maximilian Kölbe, pray for us.

St. John Paul II, pray for us.

St. John XXIII, pray for us.

St. Therese of Lisieux, pray for us.

St. Jude, pray for us.

+